Coming Around
by cause.A.scene
Summary: Tag to Common Ground. Sheppard is back and alive, though not completely well. And the worst part is, he's having to get through it mostly by himself.  New SGA writer and starting off with something safe.
1. Homecoming

**AN: **Ok… this is my first ever SGA fic, and I'm going to be honest with you, its nothing very original. Simply a tag to the episode "Common Ground." Now, I personally can't get enough of tags to certain episodes, such as this one, so some of you may enjoy this even if it is familiar. I just want to start with something safe for the time being until I feel more comfortable with venturing out too far.

So… here's a tag. I think I read a similar one to this, though I hope it is not too much alike. I'm also rather long-winded and have gone into great detail and descriptions. If its not your thing, that's cool.

**Genre: **I though I'd add this because it starts off a little slow, but more Shep whump will come. But this is mostly a friendship piece and how everyone reacts to watching such a horrific thing happen to someone they care about. There are a couple of ways to react, and I just chose one so… we'll see.

**Disclaimer: **Not mine… just playing around with them.

* * *

Well, it had been another interesting day. Or couple of days, he wasn't completely sure. With both the Wraith feedings and the fact that his holding cell had been very dark, he had no real way of knowing how long he was gone until he out-right asked someone, and right now, that wouldn't be an easy thing to do. 

When they had first seen him in the forest, he knew that they were shocked, and they had reason to be. And frankly, he was just as shocked, if not more than they were. At one moment, he had knowingly been on death's doorstep, preparing himself for the inevitable, the next, adrenaline was pumping through his veins like he was a teen again.

He couldn't explain it then, and there was no chance in hell he could explain it now. Not that he would want to at the current moment. There was no denying it, he was exhausted. Maybe even a little more than that.

When he had first been given his youth, his life back, he had felt almost normal, and the feeling had lasted all the way until he was back on the ship after dropping off the Wraith. Now however, every bit of adrenaline was gone and he was sore all over. Though it was all dull aches, nothing too serious.

So here he sat, in the back of the Jumper and off to the right side, his head leaning against the wall and his eyes shut. He had not wanted to fly the ship, not that they would have allowed him to, but he also didn't want to be anywhere where he felt like he was in the spotlight. The amazed stares had been continuous all the way up until now, which oddly enough seemed like no one wanted to look at him, except Beckett. And even his worried gaze seemed forced.

"Colonel," the Doctor said almost nervously. "We… I need to know what's going on… you.. You must be hurt…"

John reluctantly forced his head up and opened his eyes, and felt a major headache pulsating through his temples. Right away he noticed Rodney looking back at him, but the man quickly turned away, looking somewhat horrified, when John had locked eyes with him.

John shrugged it off, not wanting to dwell over it now, and instead turned to meet Beckett's glare.

"I wish I could tell you something, Doc, but I'm just as clueless as all of you," he offered, knowing he had skipped the part about "hurting" and also knowing that Beckett had been wanting something else. Anything else to explain what was going on… Why Sheppard was sitting here before him, looking as good as new.

Beckett looked away, not really sure how to respond. He always hated when something happened that he had no information on. No way to know what was going on. Especially when it came to the Colonel, as his respect for the man was always growing.

"Well… Well what about the pain," Beckett asked again, causing John to sigh. He had tried to avoid it, but he had known that it wouldn't last.

It wasn't that he was trying to be a big man and show no pain, and it wasn't that he was in any sort of denial that something may still be wrong with him; It was simply that he didn't want to explain how crappy he felt in front of his team, who apparently had been watching him slowly, painfully die hours ago.

"I'm fine," John answered, letting his head fall back again to it's original place against the wall of the Jumper.

"Oh no you don't, Colonel. I know what that means with you, so don't even try…"

"Well what about Rodney," John interrupted, bringing his head back up slowly. "I don't think I've ever heard him this quiet. I think that's much more alarming that me right now…" He had been hoping to kill two birds with that last comment; Lighten the mood and stall the pain question.

And it had seemed to work. Halfway at least. Rodney, nor anyone else made the smallest remark or even looked his way. But it _did _stall the question.

_Not good, _John thought wearily, again letting his head fall back.

He knew Beckett would be trying again at any moment, but for right now, he was perfectly happy pretending to be dozing off.

"_Rodney,_" a small, nervous voice came echoing through the Jumper. "_I… Um… what's your position?_" John heard her voice stiffen towards the end as she attempted to sound more professional. It then occurred to him that she still thought he was a frail, dying old man. Hell, she may even think he's dead right now.

John rolled his head to the side slightly so that the back of Rodney's head was in his view. He watched the man hesitate, then turn for support to Teyla, who didn't seem to have anything to offer him.

"We're… we're only a few minutes off. I'm dialing in…"

John chuckled at his friend's nervous words. It wasn't that he found Rodney's nervous rambling funny, because he didn't. It was simply that everyone knew what Elizabeth was really wanting to know, and now that Rodney completely avoided that information, it would only make Elizabeth and everyone else listening in on the conversation think that John was either dead or dying.

"_Right. Raise the shields._" There was a quick pause, then she spoke again, this time, in a quiet tone. "_We… we have a medical team standing by. Beckett, is this an emergency?_"

John laughed under his breath again; She was dancing all around the ultimate question. Part of him wanted to grab a headset and tell her straight up that he was fine. But his body was just not in the mood and he was much too comfortable for that. So instead, he assumed Beckett's response would better clear things up.

"Aye, we're going to treat it like one," Beckett replied after a short pause. His comment made John's head pop back up, knowing that reply would in no way tell Elizabeth, or any of the other twenty people around her, that he was going to come walking to the Jumper Bay, looking completely normal as apposed to what they had previously seen.

Beckett met John's eyes and made it clear that this was payback for not being straight and answering his questions fully.

"Fine," John responded under his breath. "But I'm not getting on that gurney."

And to his surprise, Beckett said nothing else.

* * *

She wanted so badly to prepare herself, but she still wasn't sure what to prepare herself for. They had all seen the Wraith feedings; Seen the life slowly slip away from Colonel Sheppard's body and watch him turn into an old, graying man. And as bad as that sounded, she knew that what she had seen could only be the best case scenario at this time. She knew as well as the next person that people rarely, if ever, survived Wraith feedings. 

Even John Sheppard had to abide by that rule.

Elizabeth sighed as the knots in her stomach tightened. They would be here any moment, and out would come Sheppard is some horrific form, and if, however unlikely, he was conscious, then she would have to do her best not to appear too shocked, or too upset. But she also knew that would be hard, which made a part of her not want to be there at all.

"They're in, Dr. Weir. Be here any second," a technician said from behind her, making the knot in her stomach reach a critical point.

_What if he is dead, _she thought suddenly. Dr. Beckett's comments, as well as Rodney's did not apply he was living nor dying, but surely they would have said something if he was dead. And what on earth could Dr. Beckett's last words mean? _Going to treat it like one? _

But, she dwelled on it no longer as the Jumper appeared before them. She looked around quickly and saw all of the faces in the room expressing so many different emotions. John Sheppard was a good man and was highly respected by everyone at Atlantis, and they had all seen him at probably his lowest points. And maybe there was still more to come.

Rodney was the first to come out, and looked as though he couldn't get out faster. _Not a good sign, _Elizabeth thought horrifically as she slowly descended the stairs. Next was Teyla, who kept looking back with a worried expression as she continued to exit the Jumper. Not much else happened next. That is to say, no one came flying out holding a frail, dying man in their arms.

The medical team must have reached their maximum amount of anxiety and they quickly ran forward with a gurney and several other medical supplies. Elizabeth suddenly felt herself holding her breath.

But before the medical team could get to the ramp of the Jumper, Beckett appeared and held out his hand, signifying for them to stop, also making Elizabeth halt her descent down the stairs.

She then saw some movement behind Beckett. It was slow moving, but definitely standing on it's own accord. Ronon then appeared behind Beckett and the other figure, looking as though he was ready to catch the figure, should he fall. _It.. It couldn't be, _Weir told herself. There was no way John would be walking, and she knew that.

But there was no mistaking the fact that the figure was wearing the same BDU's and black shirt that Sheppard always wore. _No, wears, _she corrected herself quickly. If only they would move so she could see the figure's face.

Then reality started to dawn on her: _Why would Beckett be leaving the Jumper without attending to John? _But still, it didn't make sense… Her curiosity made her continue walking down the steps, though with much hesitation.

And it wasn't until she was on level ground, completely off the stairs that she saw him. Saw Sheppard. And he was not graying, and he was not old. He was… Sheppard.

The oxygen caught in her lungs and she felt distinctly as though her heart had stopped. Most of the sounds in the room dissipated and she was suddenly alone with the same John Sheppard that she had always known. _But how?_

Without knowing it, she was now walking towards the small group of people, now standing at the base of the ramp, apparently discussing something related to the gurney.

"Sir… I… I just think he should…" one of the nurses said to Beckett, while nervously shooting glances over at Shepperd.

"He doesn't want it Sheila, just… let's get him down there now and in one piece, if you don't mind."

"You do know I'm standing right here," Sheppard asked wearily before he started walking again, apparently not noticing Elizabeth nearly galloping to him now. And yet, before she even got near enough to touch him, she slammed on breaks.

"Beckett…" she managed to get out, still staring at the back of Sheppard's head.

"Elizabeth," Beckett began in his serious doctor-voice. "Now is not the time. We really must get him.."

"Hello Elizabeth," John said tiredly, then turned slowly to face her. He then looked up at the dozen faces gaping down at him. "Hello everyone," he said and waved half-heartedly. "Guess what. I'm alive, and oddly enough, not dying. At least not that I know of. But, I _am _tired, and _yes _Doc, I'm not feeling all that great either. So, I'm going to go down to the infirmary without a fight, but I will be _walking_ there. Goodnight everyone," John finished, turning away and slowly began walking, leaving everyone stunned.

Beckett quickly snapped out of it, and continued after the Colonel, who was still be closely followed by Ronon, and Ronon alone.

And at that moment, Elizabeth couldn't decide what was more alarming: the fact that John Sheppard was alive and… _well_, or the fact that only Ronon was following his CO and friend to the infirmary, while Teyla stood by, staring at her feet, and Rodney hadn't been seen at all since he practically _ran _out of the Jumper.

Regardless, Elizabeth was shocked beyond words, and it kept her frozen in the same spot for what seemed like hours.

Part of her wanted to reason that what she had just seen was not real. That it was all a dream. But, as she allowed the world around her to come into clearer view, she knew everything felt much too real for a dream.

She took one last look at the stunned technicians above, and at Teyla, who was still not looking at anyone.

"Raise… raise the shields," Elizabeth said, bringing everyone back to "real life."

Elizabeth had still not moved an inch and was having a very heated debate in her mind. She knew where she should want to be right now, and yet, she kind of felt scared to be there. She didn't know why, but it was making her very angry at herself.

Finally, she decided that regardless of how she felt, she should be hovering around the infirmary awaiting any possible information. And without any further thought on the matter, she allowed her feet to lead her away, and noted that the knot in her stomach was still just as tight as ever.

TBC...

* * *

Well, I hope you're enjoying so far. Normally I would now beg for reviews, but as I know this may not be a very popular thing and as I am doing it for practice, it will be your choice completely. 

And, I know a lot of you may find it out-of-character for no one to want to be with Sheppard right now, which is what I always see in the stories, but I thought this was a different situation than most, and decided to look at it a different way. So... whatever floats your boat.


	2. Today's Forecast

**AN: **Wow. The response to this was amazing so I went ahead and posted this one rather soon, though not the "couple of hours" I told some of you. Sorry about that. Thanks so much to everyone and I tried to reply to everyone I could. I think it is only fair that I reply to anyone who takes the time to review my story, so thanks.

And, I'm so happy everyone seems to be ok with the new approach to how the team is handling the situation. I'm going to go with it for a little longer, but rest assured, this _is _a hurt/comfort story so… Don't worry.

But I'm thinking you will all like the next chapter a little more as it takes a step away from this initial setting the stage, so to speak.

So, enjoy and thanks again for all the encouraging reviews. Made my night. Oh, and thanks to a very wonderful tip from **Karri-1671**, who informed me that I was spelling SheppArd's name wrong, so I corrected that. Thanks for that Karri!

**Warning: **This chapter jumps around to thie different points of view quite a bit. Hopefully I did it tastefully, but you run the risk of getting people into one person, then throwing them into another. But I found it necessary to show everyone and where they were in this chapter to set it all up for the others. So... I hop you don't mind too much, but at least this way, you favorite character is in there somewhere...

Alrighty, enjoy!

* * *

Oh yeah, every bit of energy was gone. That much was painfully evident as he forced himself to put one foot in front of the other. He never fully appreciated just how long the walk to the Infirmary was.

He was also very aware of the silent group of people cautiously following behind him. Ronon was the only one walking close to him, of which he was grateful for. At first, Ronon had stayed behind him only. Now however, the Satedan walked beside his CO, making John feel a little less exposed, and a little more normal.

Besides Ronon, there was Beckett and his crew, but as far as he knew, that was it. He had clearly seen Rodney and Teyla's faces and knew there was little chance they would be following. And that was fine. They needed time and he knew and respected that.

But, he couldn't seem to keep himself focused on any one thought, so he relinquished the thoughts of his friends, and focused instead on walking. A task that was becoming more and more difficult, and apparently, they were all noticing.

"Colonel," Beckett said in the firmest voice John had heard all day. "That's enough. We're hardly half-way there, and you're about to fall over… and I know you've been through a lot, but you are now my patient and…"

John just smiled, and stopped. He looked at Beckett and smirked, which earned a confused look from the Doctor.

"What," the Doc asked.

John kept the smile and shrugged. "Oh nothing. Was just wondering when you were going to snap out of it." He then turned to the nurses pushing the gurney, and got on it without another word.

He could see their confused faces, and would have laughed if he wasn't so tired. But he had meant what he said. He knew that everyone around him would treat him differently until they faced it and came to terms with it in their own way. And he had known right away that Beckett was still lost when he had not argued with John's plea to walk instead of using the gurney, when it was obvious he needed it. But now, he was back, and John could not be more pleased.

Besides, laying down really felt very wonderful.

The nurses had started pushing the gurney again now, and Beckett and Ronon were walking beside it, glancing down at him every so often. He had never liked riding on gurneys, and didn't like it now, but they all knew he needed it.

"Alright Colonel, tell me what's happening, and don't ya even think about lying," Beckett spoke up again, apparently having decided that the firm voice was most effective.

The lights above him were dancing around, making him feel dizzy and he felt his eyes start to droop.

"Colonel?"

John looked up, and saw concerned eyes staring down at him.

"Yeah, Doc," Sheppard mumbled.

"Uh… what's wrong? What are you feeling," Beckett said, looking a little less certain.

He chuckled. "I'm good. Just tired."

He knew Beckett would have continued the conversation had they not arrived at the infirmary. The nurses pushed him further inside, while Beckett stayed behind to talk to Ronon.

"I gotta be honest, I'm surprised there aren't a dozen people harassing me right now…" Carson said, peering around empty hallway before turning back to Ronon. "But… well we got a lot of tests to do.. and I have no idea where to start, but, we'll get through it and while I'm glad someone has decided to stay with him, I'm going to have to ask you to come back in an hour or so. Give us some time to finish the tests and get him comfortable."

Carson honestly felt very odd addressing only Ronon. He was so used to talking to the "Injured-Colonel's Groupies," and out of all of them, he knew Ronon the least. But at the moment, he had more respect for the large man than any of the others.

Ronon nodded. "Ok. I'll be back soon." And then he was gone.

Carson stared after him for a moment before returning to his patient, only to find him asleep. He sighed, regretting the fact that he was about to have to wake the sleeping man up.

* * *

She couldn't say how many things had caught her attention on the way to the infirmary. Mostly just little things, but anything to stall the inevitable was welcomed to her. And she hated herself for feeling this way.

But, she finally decided it was time to "buck-up," and face him.

Elizabeth sighed. _Face him? _Was she really talking about the same guy she would have done almost anything to see again? _Well, definitely not everything. _She had essentially been the one to put him through hell and back, so no, she apparently not to _anything. _And what bothered her most was the knowledge that Sheppard, on the other hand, _would _do anything for any of them.

Elizabeth sighed. On the final straight to the infirmary, she saw the unmistakable outline of Ronon heading her way. As he approached, she smiled grimly.

"You too," she asked, not really thinking.

"Me too, what?" He asked, staring at her.

She realized that how she was feeling did not apply to him, and suddenly felt very embarrassed and ashamed. He had followed his friend to the Infirmary, so he probably was not feeling the same way towards the Colonel as she was.

"Um, how… how is he," she stammered, quickly recovering from her slip-up.

"I don't know," Ronon said firmly. "He seems tired and in pain, but alive."

The man was simple with his words, but it was his tone and body language that packed all of the punch and displayed much more than words ever could. And right now, many emotions seemed to be running through him.

"That's… that's amazing…" Elizabeth trailed off, still finding herself speechless. "So… do you have any idea of what happened?"

Ronon shook his head. "I don't. Maybe you can ask him when visitors are allowed," he replied, with a hint of accusation in his voice that Elizabeth did not miss. The man nodded as a goodbye and then left, leaving her standing there, filled with guilt.

* * *

His body was heavy and stiff. He had the horrible feeling of someone who desperately needed sleep, and yet he only got a wink of it. And, as his memories came back to him, he realized that was exactly the case.

He could hear someone talking to him, but for the time being, he decided to ignore it. He knew he couldn't keep it up long, but he was just so tired. And waking up would mean bright lights and being poked and prodded, and none of that sounded too appealing at the given moment.

"_Colonel Sheppard, you really must wake up, son._"

John sighed, his body was hurting so bad. Why did Carson insist on waking him up? He _had _come to the infirmary without complaining, and now he was trying to sleep, but no.

"_Colonel, please."_

He heard the hint of desperation in that last plea, and knew he would have to oblige. He took a few deep breaths before forcing his eyes open.

"I finally start to get some sleep and you wake me up," he mumbled, trying to clear his blurry eyes.

"I'm sorry, son. I really am. But we have no idea what is going on with your body. The tests won't take too long and then I promise you will get _plenty _of sleep." John knew the man was genuinely sorry for having to wake him up.

"S'Ok, Doc. Let's get this over with…" John said, pushing himself up then felt the bed rise up behind him. He looked over and saw a familiar nurse smiling sweetly at him. He may have been tired and hurting like hell, but he knew when someone was flirting. And, it was not unwelcome as far as he was concerned. He _was _still John Sheppard after all.

"Right. We'll just take some blood, then, and go from there."

"Whatever you say…"

* * *

Rodney's eyes stayed glued to the lap-top screen, though he was not actually seeing anything on it. Heck, he didn't even know what was on the screen at all. But, having it on his lap and staring at it made him feel like he was doing something and that was better than nothing.

He _needed_ to be here. In his lab. He needed to do research and… and other stuff. He had work that needed to be done, and that was that.

But the voice in his head would not stop rambling on and on about Sheppard. It was times like these that he understood just how annoying he _may _be to others. But probably not too bad.

But still, why did he need to be with Sheppard? He had gone to save him, had seen him, and saw that he was… ok. Oddly enough. So, that was good, and that's all he needed to know. The Colonel had been hurt plenty of times before and he hadn't always stayed by his side 24/7 those times. And in those cases, he had been physically wounded.

Now was different. Now, he was ok. At least physically he seemed ok. And that was good enough, wasn't it? He wasn't _dying _or anything, at least not anymore, so Rodney could casually go in there in a couple of hours and have a normal conversation with his friend, couldn't he?

Of course he could, it was Sheppard! The man could go five rounds with a Wraith, be covered in blood and bruises, and _still _make jokes.

He suddenly felt angry.

"Why am I even thinking about this? I've got work to do and…." he trailed off, not knowing how to finish the statement.

"Do many from your planet talk to themselves," a smooth, female voice said, filling the room.

Rodney whipped around to see Teyla standing inside the lab doorway.

"Yes.. Of course we do.. Its just normal. Like when you guys see things with your mind or whatever it is you do," Rodney said, feeling flustered.

"Oh."

Rodney could sense something in her that he didn't usually see. She seemed… lost. Or something like it. He watched her walk slowly into the room and look around at all the different tables. He knew something was wrong, and he knew what it was. It just so happened to be the same thing that was bothering him.

"You uh… you need something?" Rodney wished he could offer her something that would help, but not only was he horrible at this sort of thing, but how could he be expected to help someone when he couldn't even help himself.

"No, I do not need anything that you could give me. I only wanted to check on you. You left very quick once we arrived back on Atlantis…"

"Yeah… I uh, had an epiphany on one of my research projects and it couldn't wait. You know how that is."

"Yes, of course," she replied absentmindedly. "Well, now that I know you are ok, I think I may go. Goodbye Rodney."

"Bye," he called after her, knowing they were both needing help. He knew where he should be, but he also knew he probably wouldn't end up there anytime real soon.

He sighed and turned back to his laptop, and began the staring contest once again.

* * *

John sat on his bed, feeling so tired and dazed. He had tried to doze of a couple times, but had been rudely awakened each time, needing to go for some other test, or an x-ray. You name it, he had it done. So, on top of his aching body, he now had a few good needle holes. And as Beckett walked closer, he knew there were more holes to come.

"Well lad, I can't find anything wrong. Well… apart from the dehydration and exhaustion, but nothing an IV and some rest can't fix," he began, and John noticed the smiley nurse coming at him with an IV in hand. So much for flirting…_ "_And we'll have to keep dressing the wounds on your chest,_" _the Doc continued, his eyes wandering down to the Colonel's chest where the Wraith had fed.

"However, your body is no doubt exhausted, and I'm sure your immune system is nearly non-existent, so I think we may need to keep you here a little longer, days possibly, just for observational proposes."

"We'll see about that, Doc."

The Doctor laughed at this, and as his nurse inserted the IV into the Colonel's hand, he kept the conversation going.

"Oh, is that it? You callin' the shots, then?"

Colonel Sheppard winced slightly as the IV was inserted, but recovered quickly and kept on speaking.

"Don't I always?"

"Ha, well I'd like to see what Dr. McKay has to say about that one…"

John paused at this comment, and Beckett immediately knew that wasn't the best statement to make. The truth was, Colonel Sheppard had now been back at Atlantis for over four hours, and Beckett would have allowed anyone to come in and see the man, but there had been no one. Instead, he had been forced to keep the exhausted soldier awake by himself. And at first, it had been awkward after seeing him go through so much, presume him to be dead or otherwise beyond repair, and then have him right there in front of him, almost as good as new. But now, he felt normal with the man, and was if anything, astonished at how strong he was. How could someone endure that, live through it, and _still _joke around.

"Yeah, well I'm sure he'll be around eventually. Though I suspect he will be the last to come around…"

Dr. Beckett agreed, and decided to change the subject.

"Ok Colonel, I need to make sure I have all the facts," Beckett began, and saw the look Sheppard gave him, but dismissed it. "So… you were fed on three times, and as for the escape… you said there were no real injuries, though I'm still not sure how you even managed… and then the _gift of life, _which you said felt very similar to the… the feedings?"

He watched as the Colonel rolled his head away from him, and looked straight up instead. "It was four times."

Carson stopped his current thought and stared at his patients.

"What happened four times, son?" He asked, though he had a pretty good idea of what he was talking about.

"Four times… well, unless you count the replenishing, then it would technically be five, wouldn't it…"

"Wait. Colonel, you're telling me you were fed on four times…"

"Yes, Carson. Four times. But it doesn't matter, because I'm fine now, and…"

"Colonel," Beckett interrupted, unable to hold back his questions. "How… that's impossible. There's no way a person can survive… well, most people don't make it passed one, but four…" He was now getting carried away, not really thinking about what he was saying, until the Colonel broke his rant.

"Carson… please," John said, his eyes exhausted and full of so many different things. Which was odd, because Colonel Sheppard was always a very short person when it came to emotions. And while he was not crying or anything now, it was clear that he didn't want to get into it. And Carson knew it was time to stop badgering the man.

"I don't know how, or why. And I don't care right now. I'm here, I'm not dying, just tired. So, unless there are any more test you need to do, I'm going to go to sleep."

Beckett sat, staring at him and could see the pleading in his eyes.

"Of course, son. Get some sleep and I'll be right here when you wake up."

John smiled gratefully before slipping off into a deep, needed sleep. And for a while, Beckett watched him in disbelief. Not having to worry about the Colonel seeing him gawking, or if he was saying the wrong thing.

How…. How? It was… _impossible. _How could he possibly be alive after _four _feedings _and _the gift of life, whatever that was.

But, he would have to find out at another time. Or, maybe he would never know. But, what he did know was that, against all odds, this amazingly strong man was here before him, doing relatively fine, and not complaining. And not only that, he was still essentially alone.

Beckett sighed before standing up. _No one should have to go through all of this alone, _he thought sourly, looking around at the still empty infirmary.

Where was everyone?

* * *

_That question will be answered, do not fret. I don't think the next one will be out as soon, but I hope to finish a couple more chapters before the weekend is over so I can update regularly. And I plan for that to mean once a day, or every other day. So, have a good weekend everyone! _


	3. The Wanders of Straws

**AN: **Kind of a long wait compared to the small amount of time that passed between chapters 1 and 2, but this is more reasonable. And unfortunately, it may be more like this for the rest of the story. I don't expect more than one or two more chapters, and because I have VERY busy weekdays, I will be having to squeeze writing and posting in. But, I assure you this tag will be done by the end of the week. And know, I'd love to be able to post every day if I could.

**Thanks: **I really can't thank you all enough; you guys have been so positive and helpful and consistent… I'm so impressed. So thanks for all the reviews and reading and sticking with it. Its just so wonderful. Also, I don't think I've responded to all of the reviews last time... Many apologies! I want to.. just things get crazy. But I will try to this time.

**Warning: **Not much Rodney… sorry. But he will make a full comeback. I promise. And.. I think there is one "bad word." But… you hear it all the time on SGA, so… you should all be ok.

Alright, enough chit-chat. Happing Reading!

* * *

He hadn't realized just how tired he was until after he woke up five hours after he left the Infirmary. He immediately felt bad as he realized that there was a good chance Sheppard was still alone and visitors were probably allowed now. 

He got out of bed quickly and prepared to leave his quarters. He didn't exactly know what it was about John Sheppard that had him so attached, but he guessed it was due to the man's selflessness and dedication to his people. Either way, Ronon found himself feeling ready to take on the world whenever Sheppard needed help. And very few people had ever managed to have that effect on him.

As he started down the hall, he suddenly became aware of a growing sensation in his stomach, one that he knew all to well to be hunger. And then he had a choice: rush to Sheppard, or grab a bite to eat first. It sounded wrong to even be considering these options, but frankly, he was starving. And even if he did go straight to the Infirmary, he would have to leave soon to get food anyway.

So, he made a quick turn and headed off to have an early dinner. It didn't take long for him to discover Teyla sitting by herself in a corner after he had grabbed a tray of food. Ronon sighed, knowing that he was about to take yet another detour from his path to Sheppard.

But, he knew that Teyla was just needing a push. Just about everyone did, but Ronon was sure that Teyla was the closest to realizing that Sheppard needed her. So, why not help? It would, after all, benefit both Sheppard and Teyla, so it was worth it.

He walked up behind her, noting that she did not even sense his presence. And it wasn't until after he had taken a seat directly in front of her did she realize he was there.

"Oh, hello," she said, coming out of her own little world that was apparently not pleasing her.

"Hey," Ronon replied, stuffing his face with food.

"I haven't seen you for a while," Teyla said, still looking upset but trying to hide it.

"Went to the Infirmary, got turned around, went to sleep…" He answered, moving from the chicken and starting on the potatoes.

"Oh.. And how is Colonel Sheppard?" He could see all of the guilt clearly in her eyes and smiled to himself, glad she was making it so easy on him.

"Why don't you see for yourself. Heading there next."

Teyla stopped for a moment, then looked away from him with a weary smile on her face.

"I know what you are trying to say, Ronon. And I know I am wrong," she began, still not looking at him. "I know I should… be there for him. And I do not know why I am not." Her eyes finally met his and he now saw a hint of desperation.

"Teyla…"

"This is not the first time I've seen him… hurt. Seen him close to death. I have even seen him technically dead," she interrupted, not holding back her feelings. "And all of those times, we were all right there beside him. As he is always there for us. But now… I just do not know…"

Ronon thought for a moment. "Those other times. You were with him as these things happened"

Teyla frowned, not entirely sure where this was going. "Yes…"

"And you helped? You did what you could to help him at the time?"

"Yes, of course," she replied, sounding almost offended.

"Ok then. You had some control. All you could do this time was watch, and know there was nothing you could do. You could not be there while it was happening to help but you _can_ be there now…"

Teyla stared at him, deep in thought. She had nothing else to say, but was overwhelmed by his words and their meaning. Neither one of them said anything else, not feeling the need. She just watched as Ronon wiped the crumbs away from where he was eating, then got up to leave.

"See you soon," he asked. More simple words that had so much meaning.

Teyla found his eyes, and for the first time in almost two days, she smiled genuinely.

"Yes, Ronon. And thank you."

* * *

Carson Beckett had once again found himself gazing over at Colonel Sheppard's bed. The Colonel had been his patient countless times before, and it was almost always because of some heroic, self-sacrificing act, or else something that he had no control over. And this time was not really any different, and yet Carson still felt himself staring at the man. 

And it was no mystery why. He _had _watched him basically die, so he figured he kept looking just to make sure he was really there. He no longer felt awkward around Colonel Sheppard, but he still wanted to keep checking in on him.

And this last check wasn't leaving him too thrilled. There did seem to be some sweat building up along the Colonel's forehead and his temperature was none too promising either as it had already risen to 99.9, and was still going up. This did pose a possible problem, because while he knew that it was rather probable that the Colonel would get sick or develop some sort of infection due to the strain on his system, it could mean something much more serious. The truth was, he had no idea what could happen, and hoped that is was only a cold or infection, as he knew how to deal with those things.

Carson sighed as he turned away from his patient, deciding to wait a wee bit longer before setting up any kind of antibiotics. When he turned back to look at the Colonel again, he was startled by the large figure now standing next to his patient's bed.

"I was beginning to think you weren't comin' back," Carson stated as he walked towards the bed.

"Sorry. Fell asleep," Ronon replied easily.

"Oh. Well, you needed it. He's been sleeping for a while now too," Beckett said, feeling less upset that Ronon hadn't come back right away because he had been sleeping. They all needed it and if one got it, then good for them.

"Did you find out anything new?"

"Not really. He's exhausted, malnourished, and dehydrated, but all of those are expected and treatable. He has been showing signs of illness or infection, which we will continue to monitor, but otherwise, nothing is wrong with him."

Ronon considered these words, still not very sure how this "medical" thing worked, but knew that if Dr. Beckett said it, then it was true.

"Well, that is good."

"Aye, it is. We just need to keep it that way," Beckett responded tiredly.

Ronon grabbed a nearby chair and pulled it closer to the sleeping Colonel's bed, and sat down. He began to look Sheppard over, noting how normal he looked. Besides being a little pale, it simply looked like he was a completely normal man sleeping.

"Have ya' seen anyone else," Beckett inquired, coming closer to Ronon.

"Yeah, Teyla will be here soon," Ronon replied easily, easing down in the chair to get more comfortable.

"Oh good."

Silence fell over the room as everyone settled into their own areas and began the waiting game. Beckett figured that Colonel Sheppard would be waking up soon as he knew the man never stayed asleep too long in the Infirmary without some sort of sedative.

Carson returned to his small office and took a seat. He could feel his body relaxing against the chair and knew he too was exhausted. With Sheppard and Ronon still in the corner of his eye, he lowered his head back and stared up at the ceiling, feeling himself relax more than he had in almost two days.

* * *

_This is it, _she thought sternly, staring at the outside wall of the Infirmary. She was still upset at herself for feeling this way towards John, and knew that there was only one way to get over it. 

She took a deep breath, and the door slid open to reveal the all too familiar white room filled with beds covered in crisp sheets. And all the way across the room, she saw the back of Ronon sitting in chair beside a bed. Elizabeth could not see the face of the person in the bed because Ronon was blocking it, but she did see the outline of legs and knew who exactly who was on it.

Before walking further into the room, she peered around into Carson's office and was surprised to see his head down on his desk, breathing deeply and evenly. Elizabeth smiled at the peaceful sight, and envied him.

Feeling that it was time to deal with her own problem, she took a deep breath before walking closer to John's bed. When she was close enough to see his face, she felt herself freeze at this sight that greeted her.

She was still not able to see Ronon's face, but now John's was in clear view, and she was surprised to see his eyes opened and staring at her. He looked the same as he always did, though a little pale and sickly looking. She watched as he lifted his hand to his face and put a finger against his lips, apparently telling her to stay quiet.

She must have given him an odd look because he removed the hand from his face and pointed instead at Ronon. Elizabeth looked around at Ronon and realized that he was passed out in the chair.

She smiled, then turned back to John.

"Everyone is asleep," she whispered.

"Yeah, I know. I've been bored out of my mind," he whispered back, though slightly louder than she had spoke.

"I thought you didn't want to wake him?"

John smiled. "Are you kidding? He's been asleep for over an hour…," he replied with a mischievous smile. He then put his hand under the covers, and when he brought it back out, he was holding a rather long, thin object. And it didn't take long for her to figure out what it was. Somehow, he had managed to obtain three plastic straws, and had put them together so that it was now a long stick. And it was apparent to her now; John was just like a child when it came to being bored.

"You may want to stand back," John warned her. A warning that she took to heart and stepped away from the bed.

She then watched as John brought the end of the straw pole to Ronon's face, and ran it over the Satedan's nose. He didn't do much at first, just sniffled and stayed asleep. Unhappy with these results, John tried again, this time sticking the end up the straw up Ronon's nose a little. This attempt got a much better response as a large hand came flying up and swatting at the straws.

John laughed, though Elizabeth could tell he was still tired, or maybe in pain. His straws now broken from Ronon's attack, he watched and waited, and sure enough, Ronon's head came up, his eyes searching questioningly around the room. They finally fell on Sheppard who was still laughing.

"You think just because your in here I won't kill you…" Ronon said sternly, though a small smirk was visible on his face.

"Ah, you see I think your problem is that you underestimate the fighting skills of Dr. Carson Beckett…" Sheppard replied. "He'd be all over you like white on rise if you try anything."

Ronon looked a little confused at the metaphor, but none the less smiled at Sheppard's comment. "So now you need Beckett to protect you?"

Sheppard shrugged. "No, but Carson's a beast. I just think it would be an entertaining fight."

"What is all this," a voice came from behind them. "How am I a beast?"

Ronon moved out of the way so that Sheppard could see Beckett approaching.

"Ah, you're awake. Dr. Weir, I'm glad to see you came down," Carson said as he noticed Elizabeth standing off in the corner, watching as the scene unfolded.

"Yeah, well I was wanting to check up on him, but it looks like he's doing fine…"

"Yes _he _is," Sheppard spoke up sarcastically. "I don't understand why you people think I can't hear you when I'm on one of these beds but…"

Elizabeth turned her gaze to John but she didn't reply to his comment, and turned back to Beckett instead.

"Well Dr. Weir _and _Colonel Sheppard, you are doing good, but I'm afraid your temperature is rising," he said, gesturing at the monitors hooked up to the Colonel that now read a temperature of 101.8.

"Yeah, so I'm getting sick. That's completely out of the ordinary," he responded sarcastically.

"Aye. But considering everything you've been though recently…"

"It's only natural that I get sick. I mean, I did escape the hands of death after all. I think its only fair I have to suffer through a cold," John interrupted, apparently not wanting to talk about 'all that he'd been through.'

No one really had anything to say to this, but cringed at the word "suffer." Elizabeth felt fairly sure that John Sheppard had suffered quite enough over the last day or two, but she decided not to say anything.

"Right, well I think I'm going to find Teyla," Ronon said, getting out of his chair and stretching.

"There's no need, Ronon. I sent her on a short off-world mission, but she should be back soon."

"Where did you send her," Sheppard asked casually, though she knew he was asking out of worry for his team member and friend.

"Marial. They are ready to trade some crops. Simple mission," she answered him and watched his features relax.

"Oh yeah, because simple missions never go wrong…"

"Don't worry John. She will be fine."

"I know," Sheppard replied. "What about Rodney? How is he?"

"I don't know, he's been in his lab as far as I know…"

"Right. So when do I get out of here, Doc?" He asked suddenly, turning to Beckett and changing the subject.

"Colonel, you know we've discussed this already, and now you're getting sick.."

Sheppard rolled his eyes. He was really getting tired of this. He was getting sick and he knew that, but was there really any point in staying in here? Besides, he couldn't really sleep all that well in the Infirmary, and sleep was the main thing he'd need if he was getting sick. But he also knew there was no point in fighting. Especially not with Carson.

"Alright, alright. I'll stay a little longer…"

"There's a good lad. We'll be adding to your IV in a few minutes," the Doctor said before walking back to his office, leaving Elizabeth and Ronon standing by John's bed.

"Look, I'm sorry but I've got to get out of here," Ronon said, looking a lot like a caged animal.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Sheppard began. "Thanks for sticking around big guy.."

"See you later," he muttered before exiting the Infirmary, and leaving an awkward silence in the Infirmary.

Sheppard knew it would be coming soon now that it was just him and Elizabeth. Luckily, he had not had to be all sentimental and talk about things in great detail with Beckett or Ronon, but he knew he would have to in some way with all the others. And Elizabeth was going to be one of his least favorite ones to talk to, because she liked to discuss everything and all the feelings and emotions. Teyla wouldn't be so bad once he started talking to her about normal things. And then Rodney… well Rodney was going to be the hard one. But, he'd worry about him later.

"John… I'm… sorry," she started, looking away from him. Well, at least they were jumping right into it. No awkward build-up to the conversation.

"Elizabeth, please don't start this…"

"Look, I shouldn't have been here a while ago, I know that. Its just… I don't know… it's just hard. I thought you were…" She trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

"Dead? Well, that's never happened before..." John replied sarcastically.

Elizabeth looked up at him now, her eyes a little moist now, though she was not crying, and nodded. He felt his stomach constrict. Like he said, this was not the first time she had told him that she had thought he was dead, and knowing them, it probably wouldn't be the last. The thing was, he felt horrible for his team and all others who had to watch him suffer. He knew he wouldn't be able to handle it if he had been watching one of them.

And yet, he didn't know what to say her. He wished he did, but he just was not good at this sort of thing. He didn't like people to see him at weak points, or feel sorry for him or anything like that. He didn't like them to worry or to hurt at his expense. And he knew they had to have been hurting while watching that broadcast.

"Well, as always, I'm not dead…" he replied, attempting to lighten the mood. Laughing was always an easy way out.

"Yeah, but you could have been. Again. And… and you _were. _And… I could have stopped it...I _know _you told me not to… but.. It was my choice… and.."

"Elizabeth, don't…"

"And then, everyone else was telling me to accept his terms… Or at least they were thinking it. And it was all for Ladon, and if I had thought that we could somehow get around it, John, I would have in a heartbeat…"

"Elizabeth," John said, more loudly this time, causing her to stop in her rant. "You must have made the right decision, because everything is fine now. I'm fine and the Genii are still our allies…"

"Yeah, but only after you got your life sucked out you," she almost yelled. He knew she was not anger at him, but at herself. He also knew that her feeling guilty was going to be problem, but this outburst was a bit more than he had expected. And she apparently felt the same way.

Right after the words came out of her mouth, her face contorted and she suddenly felt horrible.

"Well, that was rather… _blunt,_" John bemused with a grin. No, he hadn't expected it, but he thought it was kind of funny, and was immediately reminded of his conversation about bedside-manner when he was changing into a bug.

"I'm… I'm so sorry, John. I just… I should let you rest now." She was trying to keep her 'cool' but it wasn't working too well and she was saying all the wrong things. And he saw her panicking and felt so bad that he was making her that uncomfortable. So, he knew there was only one thing to do.

"Don't you dare walk out of here, Elizabeth. I can't have you going around Atlantis, wallowing in self-pity," he started in a firm voice while sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. No, he didn't know the best way to go about making her feel better, but he did know some ways to get his point across.

"What are you doing," Elizabeth asked, watching him trying to get out of bed. "Beckett will skin me alive if he sees you…"

"I don't care. We are going to finish this right now," He began, his eyes serious and focused into hers. "We have _all _been through a lot here recently, and I happen to respect you for holding your own. What you don't understand is that I would rather be fed on a million times than to ever be put in the position you were in. You were stronger than I could ever imagine, and you did the right thing under horrible circumstances. Do not doubt yourself. Everything has ended up the way it should and I hold _nothing _against you." The words rolled out of his mouth without him even thinking about them. It was one of those times when neither one really wanted to be saying or hearing these words, but it was necessary.

"You did the right thing, and I don't want to hear another word about it. Now, if you want to help me, then you will get me out of here and take me to get some real food."

Elizabeth stared at him in disbelief. John Sheppard, the world's worst sentimental speaker, has just said all the right things, leaving her speechless. She knew that's how he felt, and even though she still had doubts herself, he didn't. And that was enough.

"It really is you," she mumbled absentmindedly, a grin spreading across her face.

"Who else? Now please, grab this damn IV thing and get me out of here."

Elizabeth laughed at him as he struggled with the IV coming out of his hand. "You better leave that alone, John, or I will get Beckett. And you said so yourself, he's a beast."

Sheppard stopped fumbling around with tube and narrowed his eyes at her. "You wouldn't…"

"You underestimate me, John. Now, listen to Beckett," she said before turning away to leave. And as she turned the corner, she could see him staring reproachfully back at her. And with a smile, she walked down the hall and finally felt the knot in her stomach loosen.

* * *

Ok, I don't know about you guys, but I missed Rodney really bad… so we will just have to have a good amount of him in the next chapter. And, I did this on purpose of course. I personally feel that Rodney and Sheppard have the most interesting, and in a way, the closest relationship on the show… so I wanted to save it for last. Hope this was ok, it wasn't my favorite but, I think it will work. Thanks again for everything guys! 


	4. Battles

**AN: **Ok... I am soooooo sorry. I cannot even begin to tell you guys about the last couple of weeks I've had. Like, it would litterally take to long to tell you. And I still got a lot ahead of me. We are buying a house and the process is about finish... and now, our car has decided to start shutting off. That is just a taste. But again, I'm terribly sorry. And even then I would have found time, but my computer was out of commision for a large percentage of the time and... well talk about your series of unfortunate events...

So here it is... I'm not going to lie, I'm not in love with it. For anyone who was wanting drawn-out whump, sorry. I don't know how its possible because I'm obsessed with whump, but this story ended up being only a hurt/comfort fic, and not really whump. Again, so sorry but if I did that, it would have been a much longer wait and that woud have been too unfair.

Again.. soooo sorry. And, in spite of me, you don't have to review at all. Just, as long as you are at least semi-pleased with the ending, thats good enough for me.

sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry..

* * *

Teyla smiled as she watched the scene before her. Colonel Sheppard, fully clothed in loose-fitting pants and a button up shirt, sat bickering with Dr. Beckett. John was still stuffed up, making his voice sound odd and it was apparent that his throat still hurt, but he looked the best he had since he arrived back on Atlantis four days ago.

"John, all I'm asking for is one more night…"

"And all _I'm _asking for is one night of real sleep," John countered, still sitting on the edge of the bed looking ready to run for it the first chance he got.

"Oh, you've slept, lad. And you still have a slight fever… I just think its best that you stay a little longer…"

"Yeah, but you said so yourself, the worst of it is over. And I can promise you that I will never get completely better staying in here. I mean yeah, I _sleep, _but there's no actual _rest… _And doctors always say that everyone needs _rest…_"

Teyla watched Dr. Beckett consider this reluctantly. They were both right, really; John was still sick, but he was much better and if he wasn't getting any rest in here, it may help to go to his own quarters. Feeling split on the subject, she remained quiet, knowing that they would eventually decide on what was best for the Colonel.

"Fine," Beckett said finally with a slight frown. "But you're gunna stick around until I get all of your meds ready, got it?"

Colonel Sheppard grinned triumphantly and nodded like a small child.

Teyla was glad that the Colonel was getting what he wanted and would hopefully be able to rest, but she also understood Dr. Beckett's reluctance to let his patient leave so quickly. Things had gotten pretty bad with Sheppard, almost to the point where everyone was fearing his complications were do solely to his run-ins with the Wraith, and not just a sickness. His temperature had reached soaring levels less than a day after his return, and things had only gotten worse from there. For a full day, Beckett was fighting the Colonel's fever, as well as his nausea, coughing, and other painful symptoms that had plagued him. It had been a difficult time for them all to watch him go through it so soon after his other ordeal, but he still did it with remarkable strength.

And, as quickly as it had came, it went. Or, had started to die down at least. Immediately afterwards, Dr. Beckett had concluded that it was a "24-Hour Bug," and that, unless anything else came up, Colonel Sheppard would be ok after some rest and recovery.

And here he was, his legs dangling over the side of the bed, smiling up at her. She, of course, returned the smile and stepped closer.

"You have an odd way with people, Colonel," she spoke softly, grinning at his abilities and remembering the first time they had met.

He shrugged. "Whatever works, right?"

She continued to smile as she thought of him, and herself over the last few days. She had had every intention of visiting him directly after her talk with Ronon, or at least soon afterwards. It hadn't taken her long to realize that she really did want to see him, and was already on her way to he Infirmary when Elizabeth had asked her to go on the mission. And she could not say no. A part of her believed that Elizabeth had only been trying to help because she knew that Teyla was reluctant to see Colonel Sheppard, and it would have been nice an hour before, but she went regardless. And her prayers of a simple, quick mission had thankfully been answered, allowing her to return to the Colonel just as his symptoms were starting to worsen.

It had been a little uncomfortable at first, especially since he was starting to look worse by the minute, but when he spoke and smiled, Teyla saw him as nothing more than a sick, close friend. And it had only taken moments for all the awkwardness to fade, and leave only Colonel John Sheppard lying before her. She had soon come to realize that it had been her fear that as a result of his ordeal, he would have changed somehow, that had kept her away. Become a different person much like the one she had seen on the screen. But as he made small jokes with Ronon, Carson, and herself, she wondered how she could have ever doubted him in the first place.

And of course, Elizabeth had stopped by regularly as well for an update on his condition. It was no secret that Elizabeth favored Colonel Sheppard and his team, as she was always hanging around them more in comparison to the other teams. But that of course could be explained away with the fact that the Colonel was her second in command. But Teyla knew otherwise.

The only thing that had not returned to normal was Dr. McKay. She had not seen him since her visit to his lab the first day, and he had most importantly not be seen in the Infirmary at all. But no one made many comments on it.

And now, four days later, Colonel John Sheppard was ready to leave the Infirmary for good. Well, at least until his next mission went wrong, she thought darkly. But that thought was for another time.

"Well, I must say I am glad you are feeling better," she said happily. He _was _still sick, but nothing like what he had been days before.

"Yeah, me too," he replied honestly. "Now, if he would just hurry up, I'd be doing a lot better," he continued, his eyes darting over to Beckett's office.

"Patients, Colonel. You would not want to rush him while he is preparing your medications."

"You're right," he said, stretching his arms above his head. "He may spit in them…"

Teyla looked at him confused. Dr. Beckett was an interesting man at times maybe, but he would never do anything as horrible as spitting in the Colonel's medication. Sheppard apparently saw her confusion.

"No… its just a saying. You know… like when fast-food joints spit on your burger… " But when he saw that his attempt at clarification only baffled her more, he gave up and just grinned of her lack of knowledge when it came to Earthly things.

"Alright, lad," a voice came echoing through the mostly empty Infirmary. They looked up the see Beckett coming towards them looking slightly agitated. "I'm going to let you go, but you are only leaving on strict orders of bed-rest. You know as well as I do that your body is in no condition to be doing anything else. You can only leave to get some food, and even then I want you with someone. No buts son, or you can just stay right in here and we'll _bring _you your food," Carson added as John opened his mouth to object.

"And I have detailed instructions in the bag," he continued, lifting the small plastic bag filled with little jars. "You are to follow them exactly. If I find out about any abuses, you'll be coming back in here and that's that. Now, I also put some mild sedatives in there in case you can't sleep…"

"Doc," John interrupted. "I got it. Can I please go?"

Beckett was about to answer when the Infirmary doors slid open, revealing both Elizabeth and Ronon. They came into the room smiling and staring at John.

"Heard you're about to make a break for it," Ronon asked in his deep, rumbling voice.

"Well, I was beginning to think so, but it seems as though the good Doc here has no faith in me," he replied, looking accusingly at Beckett.

"You're only half right, Colonel. If there was ever a situation in which you needed to give up your life for someone else, I have _faith _you'd do it in a heartbeat. Now, when it comes to caring for yourself…."

"Ouch, Carson," John interrupted again, pretending to be offended by the doctor's words. "That was well below the belt."

"But true," Elizabeth added, looking down at Sheppard with a grin.

"Fine. I'll accept that you are all against me, as long as I can get out of here…"

"Aye, lad. You can go…" John began to get up with excitement, but Doctor Beckett grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back down. "Right after I check your temperature."

John gaped at him and his evil grin. "Oh, come on! You did that fifteen minutes ago…"

Beckett continued to smile. "Well, one more time can't hurt…"

Everyone began to laugh but Sheppard, who sat back down and waited patiently, though not without a frown.

"So, how is life beyond these prison walls," he inquired, trying to pass the time with small talk about the home he had yet to see for over four days.

"Pretty good. You know, its funny how over the past four days, there was not one need for a rescue mission," Elizabeth responded, looking around at the three team members.

"So, its been boring," John added, countering her attack.

They all chuckled at this comment. "Like you wouldn't believe. _And _its been too quiet," Ronon added.

John smiled again, this time wearily. "So, Rodney must still be locked up in his lab then?"

There was another small chuckle at this comment, though nothing like the first. And it was for the simple reason that it was blatantly true.

"Unfortunately, yes," Teyla answered first, her eyes reverting to the floor.

"I'm not entirely sure he's left at all. I mean, other than to eat perhaps…" Elizabeth added grimly.

"No," Ronon interrupted. "I ran into one of his men bringing food to his lab. The little guy spilled it all over me…"

"You didn't kill him, did you," Sheppard asked suddenly, looking almost completely serious. Ronon only laughed.

"Kind of felt like it, but then he squeaked out something about bringing it to McKay, so I let him go."

"Good, Chewie," Sheppard replied. Throughout the entire conversation, Beckett had been doing his thing, and was apparently finished.

"Alright lad. Got nothing else to stall on, so you can go."

Sheppard stood up quickly as though it would prevent him from being called back from Beckett, and straightened his shirt.

"Well Doc, it's been fun, but I've got to go save Rodney before he kills himself," John stated as he began to leave the Infirmary. He must have felt the death glare that Beckett was giving him because he immediately turned around and added: "Right after I get a good night's sleep."

He smiled innocently right before the doors slid closed behind him, leaving the others staring in his wake. They all knew that he had been lying and that he had no intention on going to his quarters right away. But they didn't do anything to stop him. Instead, they began to speak about something that they had all been wondering about.

"You think he's ok," Elizabeth asked, asking what they were all thinking.

"Physically, yes. Mentally… maybe," Carson answered, never looking at any of them, just staring at the door still.

"Well, if he's not now, he will be."

"This is true," Teyla added. "For him to be as alright with it as he is now can only be a good sign. He has not done anything to withdrawal from any of us. Though, I do sense that he is still battling with it some."

"Well, if it's a battle, I have no doubt that he will win it," Elizabeth said, finally turning to them with a sigh. "But he will be talking to someone none-the-less. You guys should all get some rest, and I'll see you at dinner."

With that, she turned around and followed the Colonel's footsteps out of the Infirmary. Ronon too left, and just before Teyla was also ready to leave, she began to think again about the Colonel.

She knew that there were still some things bothering him, though that was to be more than expected. But it bothered her that it had been _him _helping all of _them _get over it alland not vise versa.

But it did not matter now, as he was gone, but she knew that he would be fine. Truly fine. And with that last thought, she finally felt ready to leave the Infirmary.

* * *

The constant thudding that was filling the room was apparently not audible to Rodney, but it was blatantly obvious to Radek Zelenka.

"Rodney, please," he scolded, peering over at the red-eyed doctor. He knew the man had been there for days, but he had not listened to any of them telling him to get some sleep, so they had given up.

Rodney's head shot up from his lap-top and stared at Zelenka with pure annoyance.

"You know what, Zelenka? I don't actually recall asking you to come in here anyway…," Rodney shot back, his eye twitching. The constant cups of coffee were taking full effect on him, and it was very obvious. Zelenka turned his head away, knowing that to fight with him was futile.

They all knew what the problem was, but no one wanted to talk to him about it, as all previous attempts had been useless. But when the thumping started up again, Zelenka decided it was time to end this. He closed his own lap-top and without saying a word, he left the lab and headed to one of the few people he thought could help.

He was heading for Elizabeth's office when he suddenly collided with someone after turning a corner. The force of the impact was enough to knock him down, but as he opened his eyes and saw legs before him, he realized that the same was not true for the other person. And… he knew those legs.

"Oh, I'm sorry Dr. Z… didn't see you there…"

"Colonel…," Zelenka stammered as he accepted the Colonel's outreached hand and allowed the man to help him up. He was surprised at man's strength. Not that the Colonel was not supposed to be that strong, because John Sheppard has always been an unbelievably strong man for his rather small stature, but Zelenka had not seen him since the broadcast of the feedings and which point he had looked anything but physically strong. And yet here he was, the same as always.

"You.. You are okay…"

Sheppard laughed. "Yeah Doc, I'm good. I'm guessing Rodney's in his lab still?"

Zelenka sighed. "I'm afraid so, Colonel. I was about to go get Dr. Weir, but I think you may work better."

John grunted out a laugh again. "Ah, we'll see about that. Not really good at this sort of thing, but it's Rodney. You never really know with him…"

"Yes… this is true, Colonel. But he is doing himself bad. He has not slept and is shoving in coffee like it was candy," Radek replied, sighing.

"Well, for McKay, coffee is candy. Well alright, Doc. Sorry about knocking you down and hopefully I'll have Rodney out of your hair here soon," Sheppard said, nodding at Zelenka as a goodbye.

It had been a long walk from the Infirmary. Not really because he was hurt or anything, although he was still tired, but it was all the stares he got as he made his way through Atlantis' hallways. He hadn't really thought about that part, having conquered most of his team's nervous looks. But it hadn't occurred to him that everyone else in Atlantis had either seen what he went through on the screen, or had heard about it and that none of them had seen him.

He couldn't say exactly how many of his men either smiled at him, or came up to him to tell him how happy they were he was ok. It was a little odd, but he appreciated their concern. And when he had finally run into Radek, he had only wanted to get to Rodney's lab that much more.

But as he neared the lab, his stomach began to restrict. _What was he going to say? _He had not lied when he said he was not good at this sort of thing, and was still shocked at the speech he had delivered to Elizabeth. But the thing was, the only thing he thought would work on Rodney was the one thing he was really not wanting to do.

But, his reluctance did not stop him. Instead, he tried not to think about it and just kept a steady pace to Rodney's lab. But when he reached the door, he stopped and considered the situation. Maybe it wasn't best to just walk right in. He reached up to his ear and activated his comm.

"Rodney…" he began, wincing at the sound of his scratchy, heavy voice.

"_Yes, yes I'm here. But whoever you are will just have to wait because I'm right in the middle of a very important discovery and if I get too far distracted then it will all just blow over to hell, and I'm not really in the mood currently to start all over. So, you'll just have to settle for Zelenka, and while I know that is a drastic drop in quality, you'll have to deal. I'm sorry…"_

John sighed deeply at McKay's long-winded rant, knowing that the tone at the rate at which he spoke were all indicators of severe discomfort for Rodney McKay. This might end up being a little more difficult than he originally thought.

"Oh no, I was looking for Zelenka anyway. I think this one might be over your head," John replied with a grin, leaning against the wall beside the door to the lab, just waiting.

"_Who is this,_"an annoyed, yet nervous sounding voice inquired.

John took a deep breath, then thought the door open. It slid open to reveal a very disheveled looking man, his clothes looking stale and dark circles forming under his eyes. _Oh yeah, worse that I thought, _John mentally told himself. John took a step in, letting the door slide shut behind him. Rodney just stood there, completely dumbstruck for all of two seconds before whirling around to face his computer once again.

"Hello, Rodney," John started heavily. He didn't know how this was going to go at all, but judging by Rodney's initial reaction, not so well.

"Colonel," McKay shot back, sounding almost normal, but John saw through it. McKay didn't not look away from his laptop, but kept talking in a rather steady voice. "I find it hard to believe that needle-pushing voodoo doctor actually released you…"

John paused, taking in McKay's attempt at being normal, and honestly, he really did sound a lot like his usual self. And had John not known him for as long as he had, he would have believe Rodney McKay was just fine. But he _had _known him for a long time and _had _picked up on all things McKay.

"Well... I never really needed to stay there anyway…" John continued, knowing they were dancing all around what needed to be said, but he had just not found the opportune moment to dive in to the heart of the problem. So… he kept this game going.

Rodney forced a laugh that sounded harsh and wild, causing John to frown.

"Oh yes, I'm sure you didn't. Cos a healthy dose of Wraith-sucking is always good for the skin. And to make it even better, you do it _three _times a day. And in the unlikely event that you survive, you get a free Wraith friend," Rodney ranted, sounding like one of those cheap commercial that tried to sell people utter crap. "Breaks all the rules of logic and all things possibly? Sure does. But who cares? If your Colonel John Sheppard, no rules apply!"

Now John was shocked. No, he had no idea what to expect when he first walked in here, but if he had to guess, he would guess that Rodney would be the opposite of how he always acted, which would mean little to no talking. But, he was wrong.

"Rodney…" John tried. His _'Rodney's' _always had a certain effect on the scientist, and usually calmed the man, or otherwise had the intended effect on him. But not this time.

"What, Colonel," Rodney shot back, furiously turning around to face Sheppard, still standing in front of the door. However, when Rodney made eye contact with him, John could have sworn he saw the man wince and he promptly turned again to face his computer.

John thought quickly about what to say. An eerily uncomfortable silence had settled over the room, and John knew he would have to say something a quick. And whatever it was, had to work a miracle on Rodney. After a few seconds though, he realized that he would not be able to actually think of anything good, so he let himself talk.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Rodney," he finally said exasperatedly. "If you don't want look at me, then fine. But why don't you take a look at yourself. In case you haven't noticed, you look like shit. And everyone's worried."

Rodney said nothing, just continued to type away though John was sure he wasn't really doing anything on that damn computer. Sheppard was finally feeling a little more comfortable, and took a few more steps into the lab, and closer to Rodney. It was almost as if he could see the man's body stiffen.

"I know you've been in here since we got back, Rodney. And… I know… that you're… upset," John sighed. As he got closer and closer to the real issue, the words became harder and harder to say. "And honestly, I don't know what to say that could fix that. But, you can't stay in here. That won't help at all. Trust me."

Rodney continued to type, though his movements were much slower now and John was sure he had the man's complete attention.

"I know its not our way, but talking to people might help. Or maybe not. I'm as clueless as you, but I do know that locking yourself in here getting drunk of coffee will not fix your problem…"

"And what makes you say I have a problem, Colonel," he heard a small voice say coolly, and noted that Rodney had still not looked his way.

John laughed at this. For a man so smart, how could he say such stupid things?

"Ok well.. Let's see. We've already addressed the way you look, though I could go on for days on that one. And then there's the fact that you've been in here for days with little to no sleep. Oh, and then there's that whole thing about you not looking at me and only referring to me as "Colonel." Should I continue?"

John now found a nice little seat and stared at the back of Rodney's head. He watched cautiously and could almost see the frustration and whatever else building in Rodney McKay. It got to the point to where his hands began shaking slightly and he even stopped typing.

"How… how.." he began, his voice hysterical. "How do you do that? Every damn time! You.. You almost die and then make a damn joke about it?! I just don't get how you can brush it off like it was nothing…"

Things were getting a little out-of-hand, and John could sense that. However, he knew that this may be the only way to end McKay's little problem.

"McKay…" he grunted out, standing up. Rodney suddenly turned to face him, and actually started looking at him a few times too.

"No, Colonel. Just don't. You just don't understand, do you? You may not think anything of this, and I'm not trying to be a drama queen, but damn! That Wraith sucked your life out three times, and there was nothing we can do, but sit there and accept that you would never be the same again! D you know how many times I've had to accept that you are dead?! Or will otherwise never be the same?"

John watched shocked once again. It literally looked like McKay was angry.

"And… and nobody makes it back from those things. No one. And even if they do, they die. Or… or kill themselves…" his voice got smaller at this part, and he trailed off. And then it hit John like a ton of bricks as he remembered Brendan Gaul.

"Rodney…" his voice now was lighter as his little light bulb went off. "This was very different and I'm fine…"

"How is it different? And… how do we even know that? I mean, yeah, you look the same now but.."

"But I'm not gunna shoot myself, McKay," John interrupted, feeling appalled that Rodney would even consider him to do such a thing.

"Oh, and like I really thought Brendan was going to blow his brains out…"

"Well maybe if you just came to talk to me, or anyone else, instead of avoiding me, then you may have figured out that I'm far from suicidal… And besides, Gaul did that to save us, not because he couldn't handle it."

Silence fell over the room again. Rodney's eyes stayed on the floor, while John's stayed glued to Rodney, desperately wanting him to say something.

"And… and I do think something of all of this. I mean, how could not," Sheppard said finally, and it came out as somewhat of a confession. The ordeal had taken a toll on him and he had been seeing the Wraith while he was sleeping, but he didn't want to say anything to any of them. He felt Rodney start to look his way, but Sheppard was now back in his seat, also starting at the ground.

"Look," John tried again, his voice soft and full of meaning. "I… I can't imagine how it felt for you all to… watch that. But I _do_ know that it does not feel good knowing you guys watched that. I mean… it was kind of like I was stripped down and showing everyone who John Sheppard was underneath it all…" John chuckled solemnly and brought his hand up to rub his forehead gingerly.

"Well, now you've just added to my nightmares. Oh, and how could you possibly say that _you, _of all people, are not suicidal. Mr. _First One to Volunteer for a Suicide Mission_" McKay responded shakily. But, his attempt at humor was promising nonetheless.

"You have to sleep to have nightmare, McKay," John countered, ignoring the suicide part.

"Oh yeah? And what about you? How much sleep have you gotten? I heard you were sick down there…"

John laughed again. "I've slept a lot. And yeah, I got sick. But it was just a cold. I'm perfectly fine now." But he heard Rodney snort.

"I'm… sorry Sheppard," Rodney said semi-profoundly, catching John off-guard. "Its just that it gets harder and harder to accept you're dead. But… we've done it a couple of times. And this time, even if you did find a way to pull through, you'd still be out of here and back on earth before I could say Kilimanjaro and then… while it would be easier to live here without you…" Rodney said, trying to catch himself before he said anything too sentimental. But Sheppard knew what he was saying. And knew that they were okay.

"Oh stop your whining McKay. We all know you were excited about me being old 'cos then you wouldn't have nearly the same amount of competition…"

Rodney finally looked at him and didn't turn away. But he did shake his head. "There you go again… always making jokes. And, you're no competition at all."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," John replied grinning. "Now, if you're willing to stop avoiding me, how about we go down to the mess hall and cause a scene before going to bed?"

"Cause a scene? You can't be serious…"

John Sheppard smile mischievously. "See what happens when you spend over four days away from me? You start losing your mind. Of course we'll cause a scene… we always cause a scene."

Rodney sighed and stared at his commanding officer and… _friend. _And for the first time, he didn't get flashes of him gagged in that chair, writhing in agony every time he looked at Sheppard. And he didn't see him with gray hair and wrinkles. He just saw John Sheppard. Plain and simple.

"Fine. I am kind of hungry. But not if its Salty Soup Day. That is some of the worst stuff I've ever had the displeasure of putting in my mouth."

"I'm sure it wasn't too happy about going into your mouth either, McKay…," John retorted, looking back quickly at Rodney as they left the lab and headed to the mess hall.

"We're going to be ok, aren't we," Rodney asked after a few moments of silence.

John smiled to himself and kept walking. "Yeah, I think we will be."

* * *

_Hope it was ok for you guys. And sorry again._


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